Like a lot of people, I’ve been battling depression for more than a decade. Not a lot of people know this about me. I’m basically a clown with a mask on, on the inside of the mask my tears are going over my face. But now is the day that I say, no more! Today I am fighting back, today is not my last stand, today is the day we fight back.
Just like in any Disney movie, you have to hit rock bottom before you can achieve your true purpose, and this is our moment.
It’s hard to admit that your life feels like it’s not worth living, but saying it is the first step to recovering. The first step to become yourself again and not a husk of yourself. Because in the end, this is your story and your story is worth telling.
Everyone should fight back depression, because it is just words going trough your head, it does not define who you are. You are worth the space that you inhabit on this earth, you are worth the air that you breath. But you will have to fight for it. Today we are all standing up, putting our war faces on, and together we will fight.
How did I get myself mentally battle ready? I imagined myself being in a foxhole in a huge forest. I’m the only one left and I’m surrounded by my demons and people who try to get me down. I imagine when I can’t handle it anymore that I’m shell-shocked in my foxhole, screaming while shells of bad thoughts fly around my position, bullets hitting the ground around me that resemble things people have said.
You shouldn’t be shell-shocked, this is your brain, anything is possible in your brain. And if you believe it, you can achieve it. If you believe in yourself, you can do anything, and everything will be achievable.
So trow up your machine gun and shoot at your demons, I imagine them as black demons charging up, in all shapes and forms. Whenever I feel like I can fight them I imagine me shooting a lot at them and mowing them down. Because I am worth fighting for, we are all worth fighting for.
Sometimes while fighting a thought will occur and you will get hit. I imagine that by getting hit in the shoulder, I can still fight, but I need some time to recover. I hunker down in my foxhole and try to get the bullet out, it is mentally hard to get over a very bad thought, but you can do it. we can do it.
Sometimes you cannot do it alone, and I’ve noticed that my Disney Princess is the one that helps me the most in my battle against my depression. She talks a lot about it with me, trying to help me, holding me in her arms. Even though that it is wonderful that I have such a person in my life, it is still my brain that I have to conquer. But the moments where I can lay in her arms while she’s saying that everything will be alright are the moments I’m out of my foxhole and I’m on leave for a moment.
But whenever I can’t be in her arms but she tells me trough messages that it’ll be alright I imagine her sprinting to my foxhole with bullets hitting all around her, but she’s not afraid, she will keep moving until she reaches my foxhole.
While in the foxhole she takes the bullet out of my arm, she tells me that I will be fine and patches me up. She gives me the courage to keep going. But she can’t stay there forever, she cares about a lot of people and I understand that she needs to help them too. But every time before she leaves she leaves me 3 items. Food, water and ammunition. Just before she leaves my foxhole she says: “keep fighting, we will get trough this together”.
And that’s the moment I take my machine gun, set it on top of my foxhole and start mowing down waves of my demons. I yell that they should F* off and leave my mind. I trow my grenades to clear a path and make myself ready to get out of the foxhole.
Lately I’m doing much better, I’m not shell-shocked anymore, I’m not a sitting duck anymore. Lately I’m getting out of the foxhole destroying my demons while moving to the next fox hole. And now I know my goal, destroy the big demon holding me back from moving on.
But the moment I mentally go out of my foxhole to move on I feel like I can take on the world, I know I can do it, I know I’m worth fighting for. I’ve been working out a lot and in my mind I’m also getting stronger. I know that depression will be with me for the rest of my life, but now I have a means to fight it. And I want you to have your own way of fighting it.
Depression isn’t fun. It is one of the hardest mental obstacles you will have in your life. Mental is the word to focus on, it is all in your head, and because of that you can fight back, you are your own master in your mind, go fight your demons.
Don’t let your demons win, you are worth your place in life, you are worth the love of your family and friends, you are worth the oxygen that you use, because you are an amazing person worth fighting for.
I hope that people will find this helpful and maybe this will help me even more by sharing it. Maybe I will have people in fox holes around me helping me fight my demons while I fight with them to fight their demons.
We are all in this together, let’s get out there and fight!